Type A Personality

I recently purchased a little luxury sports coupe.  0-60 in 5 seconds baby!  Oh, man - the trouble I am going to cause in this little rocket on wheels. 

First thing I need to do is buy a radar detector.  I want to make sure that I don’t get snagged by the ‘Five-0′ (the fuzz, heat, the pigs, smokeys).  If I am at a red light and some punk pulls up and ‘revs’ his engine, I need something to cover my back.  That extra bit of security in case my foot accidently slams down on the accelerator.

So I search online and find the ‘best’ radar detector on the market today.  The BELTRONICS RX 65.  It may be $300, but damnit, this thing says it detects everything - X, K, Ka, Laser, POP - you name it, this thing detects it.  And… it talks!  It doesn’t just beep, it tells me the band of radar that it is detecting!  WOW!  Now I am set.

So I get on the highway with my shiny new radar detector.  That’s right ‘piggies’ I am one step ahead of you now!  Get ready … just try and catch me! 

That is when it dawns on me.  I don’t remember the last time traffic was open enough to get my car up to the speed limit, much less over it.  Traffic sucks all the time around here.  Our highways are like parking lots full of stupid people.  DOH!  Ok, well I can still use it for those stop lights.  Never know when that spontaneous ‘foot jerk’ will accidentally hit you.

Two Months Later…

Well, I’ve had the radar detector a couple of months now.  I’ve found that only 1 in about a billion police cars actually use radar in Colorado.  That’s right, why spend tax payer dollars on radar guns - when it is nearly impossible to get above the speed limit?  That’s okay.  I’m not bitter.  I am secure in the fact that this detector is excellent at picking up my local supermarket automatic sliding door, and nothing beats this little puppy when it finding a Home Depot!  So if you are a frequent traveler and afraid that, on occasion, you might be in some strange town - unable to find a place to buy some chips…  might I recommend the BELTRONICS RX 65?

Those Stupid Assholes … The Stupid Agency … Transportation Security Amateurs. Call it what you like, but the TSA has to be one of the most misguided organizations ever established. If looking for a small asian man, this agency would stake out an NBA locker room - just so we can avoid ‘profiling’.

Profiling. Interesting word. Could you imagine if we couldn’t profile in other areas? Would it really make sense if an alert goes out that an “Asian gang is breaking into houses”. Well, we can’t profile, so police should stop all groups of people (white, black, hispanic) for questioning? Sounds silly to me.

I am white male, 34 years old. Let’s say a small group of white males between the ages of 25-35 were known to stop-at-nothing to blow up ‘Supermart’ stores. In fact, 10 times in the past few days, a white male has walked into a Supermart and blown himself up! You know that certain sects of white men sit in huts and discuss how much they hate ‘Supermart’. The entire world knows about how this small group of white guys really, really, really hates ‘Supermart’. The entire world also knows that 99.9% of white males don’t hate Supermart - in fact, many actually like the deals at Supermart and shop there often. I would personally expect that when entering a Supermart - I would be looked at a little closer. It only makes sense.

Some people are oversensitive and yell and scream at the thought of ‘profiling’. They need to get over it. This is just one of those things that you need to deal with if you live in a free society.

This morning, running just a couple minutes late, I start my 20 mile commute to work.  Lucky for me, I manage to enter the highway about 1/4 mile behind a police officer.  He is traveling 65 MPH in the middle of 3 lanes on a stretch of highway where the speed limit is 75 MPH.  Not surprisingly, all of the 30 cars behind him and in-front of me simultaneously came to the conclusion that their speedometers have stopped working.  So as we ascend the next hill, it looks like the O.J. Simpson chase in reverse.  I feel like I am a soldier in an army in a slow-speed charge toward the enemy, and the police car is our suicide mission leader.

C’mon stupid people… if your speedometer stops working the instant a police officer enters the highway, then get your stupid broken car out of the F*’n way.

If you have ever seen me work, been with me in the car, at the airport or in a place that involves ’shopping’ it becomes abundantly clear. I have Type A Personality Disorder. Yes, disorder. I couldn’t find it in the DSM IV - but it should be there. I have 2X the likelyhood of heart disease - and if that doesn’t take me soon, insanity will.

I have a lot to vent. Much of which may be politically incorrect, insensitive (if you are oversensitive), rude and sometimes crude. If I were to say these things at work, I would likely be fired. If you are easily offended, this ‘blog’ will offend you at some point in time. But I feel that if I am given the opportunity to vent, I can add a few days to my life. So, thank you for reading my thoughts…