Type A Personality

So you are watching your favorite program, and it goes to a commercial break. Why, oh my god, why does the volume need to be cranked up so damn high? Do the TV stations make more money from the advertisers by using this tactic?

Now don’t get me wrong, advertising ‘pays’ for your free stuff. My websites provide free content, and are funded by advertisements. I have always made it my goal to make sure the advertising is not too intrusive - I block all pop-ups, ads with audio of any sort, etc. I feel that if the advertising is too intrusive, you will drive away your users. Enter TIVO. I’ve heard that TIVO could be the death of free TV programming because you can just skip past the commercials. If stations are losing revenue because of TIVO - then they deserve it. Death of free TV - no. TV stations are using off-set timing of programming to make it harder to record programs. And the battle will rage on.

My plea to the FCC is to regulate this. They are so overly hypersensitive in other areas, why can’t they put a little effort to regulate this? The FCC does address the issue on their website, stating that they DO NOT regulate commercial volume. To their credit, they do provide a ‘tip’ to help those who are irritated - and I quote:

“The ‘Mute’ button on TV remote controls is also useful to ‘blank’ excessively loud audio.”

No shit. I have provided a picture of what this “mute button” thingy looks like on the right. (NOTE: may differ slightly on different remote control devices).

Might I provide the FCC a couple more useful tips that they could add to their list:
1. You can put your index fingers in your ears (Warning: inserting your fingers too far may result in permanent hearing loss. Before trying this please consult your physician.)
2. Leave the room when commercials come on.

Really? I mean REALLY?
Well it seems that the FCC isn’t going to police these ‘out of control’ loud commercials, which is fine, but apparently the TV stations can’t police themselves either.  So as a consumer, I guess we are left to take measures into our own hands.  In my case, I now record all of my programs and fast forward past all of the commercials.

That’s right! Now airlines (United, U.S Air - more to come!) are adopting an ‘Extra Fee’ of $25 for a 2nd checked bag that used to be free. So now you have to actually pay for them to take your luggage and inevitably lose it.

Think you’ll be refunded that $25 when you baggage doesn’t arrive at your destination? Yeah Right.

I am a scuba diver. I am used to getting the thorough anal probing at all airport security checkpoints. Yes, I am the guy that you always see off to the side in that ‘Special Security Screening’ area, the contents of my carry-ons are strewn about all over the place, with a bunch of dimwits looking through it like they are actually deterring terrorism.

I carry all of my underwater video and camera equipment, as well as my laptop and diving computer in my carry-ons, with one change of clothes and toiletries. My bag is always flagged because it hits the X-Ray and the screener sees the wires, odd shaped electronics, scuba hoses. I expect it to be flagged, and I understand it. What I hate is watching as they throw my stuff around like kids playing with Tonka toys. Imbeciles! And why in the f*ck do they always act so pissed off?? You’d think they it was their stuff that was being ‘tossed’ about.

So, my last trip was the day after TSA (The Security Amateurs) ‘lightened up’ security and allowed passengers to bring liquids in their carry-ons. One simple caveat: only plastic liquid containers 3oz. or smaller in size, must be carried separately from your suitcase in a gallon-size (or smaller) plastic bag. Ok. No problem, right? Well, the night before we leave we scramble to get our ‘main’ toiletries into little containers so that we can bring them aboard - always good to have the ‘essentials’ in hand when traveling to sparsely populated regions of the Caribbean, just in case your checked luggage is ‘delayed’.

Next Day… in the security line, I’m loosening up - getting ready to watch security throw my delicate electronic equipment around. As if on queue, I am pointed to the ‘Special Security Screening’ area. I hand over my gallon bag of toiletries, and start to unbuckle my pants getting ready to grab my ankles. My carry-on was just entering the X-Ray machine. That is when it happened. The beloved TSA agent, let’s call her… Agent “Double-Oh-Zero”, mumbled something into her shoulder microphone. Three more agents showed up almost immediately. They extracted my ‘almost-empty’ deodorant from the plastic bag. That’s right, less then 1oz of deodorant left in a 4oz container. 4 TSA agents. My bag slipped right through the X-Ray, unquestioned, in all the confusion! Holy shit!

After close inspection, Agent Double-O-Zero held my deodorant out and stated firmly, “This is a prohibited item, and is being confiscated.” Peeking to the end of the X-Ray conveyor belt, I see my carry-on in waiting. Forcing a disappointed look, I state “OK”, and turn grab my untouched bag and walk away.

Score 1 for the scuba diver.

I recently purchased a little luxury sports coupe.  0-60 in 5 seconds baby!  Oh, man - the trouble I am going to cause in this little rocket on wheels. 

First thing I need to do is buy a radar detector.  I want to make sure that I don’t get snagged by the ‘Five-0′ (the fuzz, heat, the pigs, smokeys).  If I am at a red light and some punk pulls up and ‘revs’ his engine, I need something to cover my back.  That extra bit of security in case my foot accidently slams down on the accelerator.

So I search online and find the ‘best’ radar detector on the market today.  The BELTRONICS RX 65.  It may be $300, but damnit, this thing says it detects everything - X, K, Ka, Laser, POP - you name it, this thing detects it.  And… it talks!  It doesn’t just beep, it tells me the band of radar that it is detecting!  WOW!  Now I am set.

So I get on the highway with my shiny new radar detector.  That’s right ‘piggies’ I am one step ahead of you now!  Get ready … just try and catch me! 

That is when it dawns on me.  I don’t remember the last time traffic was open enough to get my car up to the speed limit, much less over it.  Traffic sucks all the time around here.  Our highways are like parking lots full of stupid people.  DOH!  Ok, well I can still use it for those stop lights.  Never know when that spontaneous ‘foot jerk’ will accidentally hit you.

Two Months Later…

Well, I’ve had the radar detector a couple of months now.  I’ve found that only 1 in about a billion police cars actually use radar in Colorado.  That’s right, why spend tax payer dollars on radar guns - when it is nearly impossible to get above the speed limit?  That’s okay.  I’m not bitter.  I am secure in the fact that this detector is excellent at picking up my local supermarket automatic sliding door, and nothing beats this little puppy when it finding a Home Depot!  So if you are a frequent traveler and afraid that, on occasion, you might be in some strange town - unable to find a place to buy some chips…  might I recommend the BELTRONICS RX 65?

Those Stupid Assholes … The Stupid Agency … Transportation Security Amateurs. Call it what you like, but the TSA has to be one of the most misguided organizations ever established. If looking for a small asian man, this agency would stake out an NBA locker room - just so we can avoid ‘profiling’.

Profiling. Interesting word. Could you imagine if we couldn’t profile in other areas? Would it really make sense if an alert goes out that an “Asian gang is breaking into houses”. Well, we can’t profile, so police should stop all groups of people (white, black, hispanic) for questioning? Sounds silly to me.

I am white male, 34 years old. Let’s say a small group of white males between the ages of 25-35 were known to stop-at-nothing to blow up ‘Supermart’ stores. In fact, 10 times in the past few days, a white male has walked into a Supermart and blown himself up! You know that certain sects of white men sit in huts and discuss how much they hate ‘Supermart’. The entire world knows about how this small group of white guys really, really, really hates ‘Supermart’. The entire world also knows that 99.9% of white males don’t hate Supermart - in fact, many actually like the deals at Supermart and shop there often. I would personally expect that when entering a Supermart - I would be looked at a little closer. It only makes sense.

Some people are oversensitive and yell and scream at the thought of ‘profiling’. They need to get over it. This is just one of those things that you need to deal with if you live in a free society.

If you have ever seen me work, been with me in the car, at the airport or in a place that involves ’shopping’ it becomes abundantly clear. I have Type A Personality Disorder. Yes, disorder. I couldn’t find it in the DSM IV - but it should be there. I have 2X the likelyhood of heart disease - and if that doesn’t take me soon, insanity will.

I have a lot to vent. Much of which may be politically incorrect, insensitive (if you are oversensitive), rude and sometimes crude. If I were to say these things at work, I would likely be fired. If you are easily offended, this ‘blog’ will offend you at some point in time. But I feel that if I am given the opportunity to vent, I can add a few days to my life. So, thank you for reading my thoughts…