I just got back from a vacation to Bonaire (an island off the northern coast of Venezuela). Now I have many rants ready to go for my travels. This one pissed me off the most.

I am 6′5″ tall, with long legs and broad shoulders. I usually show up 3-4 hours early to my flights, and allow for a huge layover on connections for the SOLE purpose of requesting to be seated in the emergency exit row or bulkhead seating. This is a necessity for me. In a normal airplane seat, my knees are literally impaled in the seat in front of me by over 1 inch. This is extremely uncomfortable, and bordering on intolerable - depending on the duration of the flight.

On my recent trip, I went from Denver to Atlanta, Atlanta to Bonaire, then back. Delta all the way. I managed to show up early enough to get an exit row seat on all of my legs except for one. This one leg was from Denver to Atlanta - Whew! The shortest of the two flights. I ended up having a seat in the row behind the exit row. A guy in the row next to me was probably taller then me by 2 inches. He was a large and intimidating-looking cowboy. Sucks for us! I actually felt really bad for this guy, after watching him try to get into the seat. He was also somewhat overweight, adding to his difficulties.

I could tell he was upset after seeing the people already occupying the exit rows, they were all shorter people - definitely shorter then 6 feet tall. This is upsetting to see people who can comfortably sit in a regular seat, taking an exit row seat (yes, you actually must request the exit row, and agree to some extra things to be seated there). This is, in my opinion, a selfish thing to do.

This is where it gets good. One seat is left in the exit row (directly in front of me) when we are ready to depart the gate. Both me and the other guy are eyeing this extra open seat. I figure, if he goes for it - he can have it. He is worse off then me.

Oh, BUT WAIT! The next to last person to board the stupid airplane is a dwarf. Surely this guy wouldn’t have requested the exit row, so I am getting ready to make my move for the seat. Sure enough, this guy (all 4 feet of him) makes a B-line for the open exit row seat - double-checking his boarding pass before sitting down.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!

Now don’t get me wrong, I understand all of the extra obstacles needing to be taken by “little people” in this world, and respect and even admire them for this fact. But come on, REALLY?!?! Did he really need that seat?

I look over at the guy in the row next to me. He is watching this too, but his face is now red with anger. He starts shuffling in his seat, which causes the seat in front of him to move (almost vigorously) because his knees are so far impaled into it. I actually thought this guy was going to blow up. He wasn’t far from it. He eventually calmed down, and everyone made it to Atlanta just fine.

My rant is this: If you don’t NEED the emergency exit row seat, or your traveling companion doesn’t NEED the emergency exit row seat - THEN DON’T REQUEST THAT SEAT!! Somebody on your flight surely could use it more then you.

Oh - a side-note: if you are short, and do request and get that seat, don’t fucking sit there and tell everyone else in the row how much you LOVE the extra leg room, while sticking your legs straight out from the seat. It really makes tall people want to punch you in the face.